Audiences begged me to write this book.
Get your copy today!
Ridiculous cover.jpg
Click to buy on Amazon, or support a local business.
For sale at: The Mopco Improv Theatre, Market Block Books, The Book House, Fo Castle Farm, and The Troy Book Makers.
Also at Town of Ballston Library!


Stage & Screen


Not an actual photo of the

Down the Rabbit Hole players.

If you've ever spotted me dining at Applebee's or shopping at Target, you may wonder why my face looks so familiar. Allow me to refresh your memory!


I perform regularly with my super-serious-yet-somehow-still-hilarious improv troupe, Down the Rabbit Hole, at The Mopco Improv Theatre, in Schenectady, NY. I also sing around town and make frequent runs to Hannaford for snacks. Who knows where else you might see me? I'm updating this page regularly, so please, stay tuned!

Scheduled Performances   

Friday, October 28, 2022 

8:00 pm     

The Mopco Improv Theatre

Oh, and let's not forget that time I played "parent, ages 25-40" in this local commercial!

These testimonials are the real deal - I'm blushing!

"An improviser should always work to make their partner look good. Heather always does, and she looks good herself. She’s funny, she’s smart, and she can sing. It’s a pleasure to be with her on stage."  - Michael Burns, Artistic Director, The Mopco Improv Theatre

"Heather was incredibly professional, positive, and receptive to direction during our shoot.  It was a pleasure to work with her and I'd look forward to working with her again if the opportunity arose!" - Kyle Barber, iSmile Studios



The Quiet Girl origin story

At the end of sixth grade, Heather's class put together a yearbook. In charge of counting ballots for the superlatives (she just now learned what those categories are called), Heather crossed her fingers and hoped to win "Most Musical."

Instead, she was voted "Quietest Girl."

What felt like an affront and an insult (honestly, in what universe is "quiet" a compliment?), became a cross to bear. The label followed her throughout life, as if everyone she ever met had read her grade school yearbook and knew her horrifying secret: She was, well, kind of quiet.

At a certain point, though, you have to embrace all of who you are. So Heather decided to own it. And Quiet Girl Comedy was born!

Media-ready bio

Award-winning author Heather E. Schwartz has written for publishers including Scholastic, Lerner Publishing Group, Teacher Created Materials, and Learning A-Z,  and brands including Disney, Sesame Street, Time for Kids, and the Smithsonian. Her humor credits include writing for Knock Knock, Little Old Lady Comedy, and the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop blog, and she's the author of How to Be Ridiculous: 28 Tips for a Brand-New You!


Heather has won awards including the Eureka! Gold Award, the NCSS/CBC Notable Social Studies Trade Book for Young People, and the Children's Book Committee at Bank Street College Best Children's Book of the Year. Her work has been featured in high-profile media including People, Teen Vogue, Business Insider, Wired, and NBC News.

Heather performs live improv comedy at The Mopco Improv Theatre, in Schenectady, NY. 



Reach out to  work with me


Tamara's Models and Talent Agency

Phone: 315-409-8805

All the Rest

Cheryl Millicent

Quiet Girl Comedy Productions


Credit: Dan Doyle

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