Quiet Girl Comedy
Performing
Stage & Screen
Not an actual photo of the
Down the Rabbit Hole players.
I perform regularly with my super-serious-yet-somehow-still-hilarious improv troupe, Down the Rabbit Hole, at The Mopco Improv Theatre, in Schenectady, NY. I also sing around town. And who knows where else you might see me? I'm updating this page regularly, so please, stay tuned!
Scheduled Performances
Saturday, January 29, 2022
11:30 am - 2:00 pm
singing with accompaniment by Craig Petreikis!
Song clips
Courtesy of The Mopco Improv Theatre
Recent On-Camera Work
Subscribe to my YouTube!
Testimonials
"An improviser should always work to make their partner look good. Heather always does, and she looks good herself. She’s funny, she’s smart, and she can sing. It’s a pleasure to be with her on stage." - Michael Burns, Artistic Director, The Mopco Improv Theatre
"Heather was incredibly professional, positive, and receptive to direction during our shoot. It was a pleasure to work with her and I'd look forward to working with her again if the opportunity arose!" - Kyle Barber, iSmile Studios
Writing
Books, Articles, Essays, etc.
Published by Disney, Grand Central Publishing, Scholastic, Sesame Street, Time for Kids, National Geographic, NASA, the Smithsonian, Teacher Created Materials, Capstone Press, Lerner Publishing Group, Learning A-Z, and more!
Jay Maidment/Allstar/Marvel Studios/Disney
Check out my entertainment reporting for Looper.
This is a piece I wrote for the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop Blog.
Coming soon!
I'm the author of more than
Here's an essay I wrote for
Little Old Lady Comedy.
I contributed to this humor book (which is actually quite practical).
Testimonials
“Heather's upbeat, lively writing is engaging and provides accurate and well-researched information in ways that make readers want to keep turning the pages. From the outline to the final revision, Heather knows her stuff and always meets her deadlines. Highly recommended!" - Jon Fishman, Executive Editor, Lerner Sports
“Heather is a seasoned and experienced writer with a clear and strong voice, a unique style, and a careful attention to requirements that makes her work a consistent value. I am always delighted to partner with Heather on a project.” – Dona Rice, Teacher Created Materials
School Visits,
Lectures, &Workshops
School Visits
That's a 6th grade me on the left.
Would your K-6 students be inspired to learn about writing from an author who’s written for Disney, Sesame Street, and NASA? I'm here to help!
As a work-for-hire writer, I work a lot like a student. I get assignments from editors. I turn them in when they’re due. And I revise first drafts until they’re ready for publication. (Ugh – revisions! Even I don't like that part!)
My school visit program, Write Like a Published Author!, walks students through the professional writing process, with an emphasis on tips for getting through the rough patches (like revisions!). It’s an educational and entertaining 30 minutes of prerecorded content—so teachers can sit back and relax while I lead the class.
ABOUT THE PROGRAM
Write Like a Published Author! is a 30-minute prerecorded visit with award-winning children’s book author Heather E. Schwartz. It’s jam-packed with information about how work-for-hire writing works, drawing comparisons to the writing students are doing in school right now. It’s relatable and informative, but just as important—it’s fun!
RATES
For $200, you gain access to the video for 7 consecutive days, allowing you time to preview the program (see refund policy below) and share with multiple classes. A 15-minute live virtual Q&A session can be added for an additional fee of $50. Heather is happy to answer student questions by email or post for free.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Heather E. Schwartz has written more than 200 children’s books as a work-for-hire author since 2006. She’s written for many publishers and brands kids know—including Scholastic, Learning A-Z, Disney, Sesame Street, National Geographic, Time for Kids, and the Smithsonian. Some of her favorite subjects to write about are celebrities, (like the book she wrote about Taylor Swift), history (like a title she wrote called The Foul, Filthy American Frontier), and science (like her book The Science of a Race Car). She’s also written sketch and etch books and even an animation for NASA!
Lecture Programs
Hosting a conference or lecture series? Whether writers are pre-published or already professionals, they can benefit from learning more about work-for-hire authoring for children - it's a great gig at every stage of the game!
My program, Work Your Skills as a Work-for-Hire Author, explains it all: the differences between work-for-hire and traditional publishing, how to get assignments, how the writing process works, and more. It's an excellent overview for writers eager to jump into the children's market as paid and published authors.
ABOUT THE PROGRAM
Work Your Skills as a Work-for-Hire Author is a 45-minute prerecorded program featuring insights from award-winning children's book author Heather E. Schwartz. It's informative, fun, and, at times, quite silly - a refreshing departure from many traditional lectures and online presentations!
RATES
For $300, you gain access to the video for 7 consecutive days, allowing time to preview the program (see refund policy below) and share at your event.
For $450, you gain access to the video for 30 consecutive days, allowing time to preview the program (see refund policy below), share at your event, and offer attendees the option to view at their convenience.
For $500, you gain access to the video for 30 consecutive days, PLUS you get a 15-minute live virtual Q&A session with Heather E. Schwartz.
Please inquire if you need another customized arrangement!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
As a work-for-hire author since 2006, Heather E. Schwartz has written for publishers including Scholastic, Capstone Press, Lerner Publishing Group, and Teacher Created Materials, and brands including Disney, Sesame Street, Time for Kids, and the Smithsonian. Some of her favorite subjects to write about are celebrities, (like the book she wrote about Taylor Swift), history (like a title she wrote called The Foul, Filthy American Frontier), and science (like her book The Science of a Race Car). Her titles have won awards including the Jefferson Cup Honor Award, the Eureka! Gold Award, the Children’s Book Committee at Bank Street College Best Children’s Book of the Year, and the NCSS/CBC Notable Social Studies Trade Book for Young People. She is also a performer with credits including statewide ad campaigns, social media ad campaigns, a television pilot, online theater, and live theater.
Workshops
Interested in learning more about a fun freelance side-hustle? My program, Work Your Skills as a Work-for-Hire Author, explains it all: the differences between work-for-hire and traditional publishing, how to get assignments, how the writing process works, and more. It's an excellent overview for writers eager to jump into the children's market as paid and published authors.
ABOUT THE PROGRAM
Work Your Skills as a Work-for-Hire Author is a 45-minute prerecorded program featuring insights from award-winning children's book author Heather E. Schwartz. It's informative, fun, and, at times, quite silly - a refreshing departure from many traditional lectures and online presentations!
RATE
For $100, individuals gain access to the video for 48 hours, allowing time to watch and learn from the program, without permission to publicly share.
More workshops are coming soon! Stay tuned and subscribe at the top of the page for notification when new programs launch.
Refund Policy
School Visits and Lecture Programs:
Please make time to preview programs immediately after purchase. If you find it's not for you,
request a refund in writing within 24 hours. I'll happily refund 100% of the cost, no questions asked. Unfortunately, I cannot offer refunds beyond this 24 hour period.
Workshops:
In order to preserve low cost to individuals, refunds are not available at this time.
Testimonials
"Heather’s presentation was a unique offering at our conference. It was both educational and entertaining, providing professional insights, specific examples, and practical tips to help writers land work-for-hire assignments for themselves." - Lin Oliver, Executive Director, Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI)
“The class enjoyed it and especially loved how you wrote a book about Minecraft! We were so excited to see five of your books in our school library!” – Jill Ollari, Burnt Hills-Ballston Lake Central School District
"Heather choreographed a super informative and entertaining online presentation for our community of grad students, alumni, faculty, and friends. We all appreciated her generosity and sense of humor as she shared her career experiences and advice about work-for-hire children's book authoring. I received many thanks for inviting her!" - Lisa Rowe Fraustino, Director, Graduate Programs in Children's Literature at Hollins University
Contact
Reach out to work with me
Commercial
All the Rest
Credit: Dan Doyle