• Very Real Journalist Who Exists

Dear Presumably Human Expert Who is Not Google

Updated: Oct 18, 2021

Q. Callback crickets: I recently had a callback for a role that really excited me. A callback! But then, crickets, even after I wrote three aggressively polite emails expressing my continued enthusiasm and fishing for answers as to whether this role has been cast. At this point, I’m sure it has. Can I be sure, though? Should I write another email? Or should I give up on an acting career altogether and sign up with the office temp agencies (again)?

- Agitated Actress

Dear Agitated Actress,

The real question is: Why bother having emotions at all if they’re not going to be viewed by an audience? The next time you audition for a role, please, document the experience on TikTok or a similar medium. Otherwise, bottle up those feelings and save them for the paying gigs!

Next time? you’re thinking, and to that I say, “Of course!” Delusional optimism is, after all, a hallmark of the survival strategies every actor needs in their… toolkit? Something like that. I can’t think of a universal carrying case specific to actors right now. More importantly, I just saw a casting call for a Hallmark movie. You should really check it out!

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