Search
  • Very Real Journalist Who Exists

Local mom eats Fluff by the spoonful, ponders "next act"

Updated: Oct 18, 2021

First of all, Heather Schwartz hated the headline.


"'Next act?' It sounds like I'm middle-aged or something," she complained, licking the tablespoon clean of the last dregs of sticky, white marshmallow creme. "I'm a serious actor here!"


She tossed the spoon into the sink and took a new one from the drawer for a second scoop from the family-sized Fluff tub. "Also, 'local mom'? Sure, it's true, I guess, but it makes me sound so suburban," she added.


When a reporter pointed out that label - "suburban" - was also a good fit, Schwartz shot her a look meant to convey annoyance. But she forgot her condition ("resting happy face") makes it impossible to convey negative emotions facially. As a serious actor, this worried her.


"Yeah, you're right," she capitulated, sighing. She gestured to the Fluff tub. "Dig in."


Did you enjoy this? I certainly hope so, because I'm writing this stuff so people will read it! Please subscribe up top, and while you're at it, check out my YouTube channel and consider subscribing there, too. I'd really appreciate it!

15 views