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Overconfident Improviser Squats One Too Many Times in Rehearsal

Updated: May 6, 2022

After driving a scene about squatters toward a lengthy set of actual squats, improviser Heather E. Schwartz found herself regretting that one last drop down to the floor. Though rumored to have shouted during the scene, "I could do this all night!", she left the theatre wondering if her legs were "just sore" or "possibly over-stretched, if that's a thing that can happen."

According to an unnamed source, whatever the outcome tomorrow morning, excessive confidence is likely to blame.

“You should have heard her bragging over the weekend,” the source said, referencing a Friday wedding Schwartz attended. “She was like, ‘Did you see me dancing to that Flo Rida song? I can get low—I do squats every day! I've been preparing for this moment all year!'”

“She should probably bear in mind she's not 24 anymore,” added the source, who was supposed to be Schwartz’s friend, needlessly continuing, “By the way, do you know what she ate before rehearsal? A bunch of McDonald’s. And she said she had a takeout sundae in the freezer she was planning to eat when she got home - at 9:30 at night!’”

We reached out, but Schwartz was unavailable for comment. At press time, she was still scheduled to appear with her troupe Down the Rabbit Hole in Friday’s TV Night at The Mopco Improv Theatre.

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